One of my guilty pleasures is watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I know all the arguments surrounding the show. That it’s a show that panders to the worst in us. It shows Black women in a less than flattering light. It’s fluff about women, weaves, wedgies and wars. Still, I love this show although I don’t broadcast it. Guess you all know now. Sunday night I sit with a glass of wine and watch what unfolds.
Regardless of how you may feel about the RHOA (and I’m sure there are a lot of opinions), I watch first for the sheer entertainment value. For the first time, television is giving a platform to the type of Black women I know. My friends are not rich, swaddled in designer clothes, driving high class cars, wearing expensive jewelry, swinging their hair and living large. My friends are almost as broke as I am, borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. A treat for us is buying getting a scoop of ice cream from Oberweis instead of Baskin-Robbins. But the attitude these women and my friends share is right on.
You must be wondering what I find great about this show, other than the finery and disputes. First I like the way they parent. Although the children are obviously pampered, they don’t seem to be spoiled. The women who have children are involved in their kid’s lives. The kids are well behaved and even when one poses a problem, Mom is true to form as a Black woman by being firm, loving, scolding and encouraging – whatever is necessary at the time. Not one woman claims her children as their best friends. Each one is determined that their child knows who Mama is and what she is about. Mama may be loving and supportive but she is definitely NOT a friend.
These women are built like Black women. Surely you’ve seen the shows where women look like stick figures but not the RHOA. They have big butts and big thighs. They look like the women I know. Even the housewives who were models are not skin and bones. The wives all seem to be fairly healthy and comfortable in their skin and their bodies. This is a very important message for Black girls and Black women who are struggling with the images they see in today’s media.
Each housewife in a relationship has a real relationship. There is no make believe romance or friendship. When the couples argue, they argue. Relationships ebb and flow which is the true nature of things. No fairy tale, everything is all right all the time type of relationships but real messy, heartbreaking and happy relationships. The way we know real relationships to be.
The RHOA extend moments to their families. Parents, children, baby daddies, siblings, in-laws, aunts and uncles all have a place in the housewives’ lives. This is very indicative of Black folk. My husband I daily talk with one family member or another. Sometimes more than one and more than once a day. There is no such thing as the nuclear family. There is just family.
The final reason I enjoy this show is that each housewife has achieved a level of achievement on her own. Almost each of these women started out fairly standard from a working class background. They came from folks who had to work hard for a living. The ladies are all independent working women with active, successful careers. I take pleasure watching the different ventures upon which they embark. I celebrate their successes and empathize when there is failure. They are smart enough to know their strengths and weaknesses. They are confident in their abilities. They are determined in reaching their goals and work hard to do so. They all have multiple enterprises and they all strive for success but accept failure without drama. When I was a girl, I read about successful Black women but rarely saw any reflection of that on television or the movies. Every week, I see Black women being entrepreneurs and businesswomen. It doesn’t get any better than that.
There are so few shows that feature Black women. Almost all of them are reality shows. Girlfriends and Living Single are on in syndication. Like the housewives, these women portrayed successful Black women with a wide range of talents. However as much as I liked these shows, there was a part of me that realized this was a scripted show. Scripted shows are important in the way people are shown. But is has always been difficult for Hollywood to figure out how to depict them without resorting to stereotypes. Yes, the RHOA act stereotypically in a number of situations but those stereotypes are balanced by what the women represent to the world.
I can’t vouch for the reality of everything that goes on with the RHOA. I would guess that some of it is manipulated. But if it is, I will gladly accept this instead of watching the lone Black friend of the White lead who has no life, no family and seemingly knows no other Black people.
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