The Lesson

Recently I experienced an event that gave me pause that I shared with family and friends. I’d like to now share it with you.

Friday afternoon I was on public transportation on running errands after a meeting. As the train approached 63rd Street, it stopped suddenly throwing all the passengers forward with a start. The train sat on the track and eventually the motor stopped and the lights went through the train until we could disembark at the front. There were about 15 other people on the last car with me. We got our things and began trudging forward complaining about the CTA (Chicago Transit Authority).

When we got off the train at the front, we were met with people on the platform pointing, talking and making an overall commotion. We began asking what was going on. It seems a man took a running leap and jumped in front of the train to his death. When we got off the front of the train and look down at the track, parts of him were visible and his blood was on the front of the train. Fireman, police officers, CTA officials were swarming the tracks moving us all along and telling us that shuttle buses would be taking us south. Northbound trains were stopped as well. Our train had to be backed up so this man's body parts could be removed. Needless to say, we were amazed, shocked and speechless. The poor train conductor was doing his job but you could tell he was barely keeping it together. I would imagine he won't be driving a train for quite some time, if ever.

This is the second time I've been on a train and someone committed suicide by jumping in front of it. I keep wondering what could be so bad that one would end his life. Then I think about the times I've considered suicide myself, when I was so low I had to reach up to touch bottom. I don't condone it but I understand.

This unknown individual made an impact on a lot of people today. Everyone on that platform was bidding goodbye to strangers, blessing each other and just being kind to each other. The last time I experienced something like this was Sept. 11th when I was living in NY and standing in the street when the second tower fell. All of us in the street that day were bonded by a shared tragedy. Friday felt like that.

We live in such a fast paced world inundated with noise and images. People sit across from each other and text instead of talking. Television babysits our children, news is more entertainment than actual news, people are famous just for being famous and we’re disengaging from each other. How can we know if someone is in pain? How can we know when we are in pain? We self-medicate with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, internet, texting and we don’t stop and listen. We don’t hear because so much of our time is taken up with the cacophony of the sounds around us. I didn’t know that man but I can imagine that he felt there was no one to hear him, no one to share his pain. So he did the one thing he knew would stop the pain. And I wonder if he thought as he leaped from the platform if maybe there might be another way. Now he will never know.

I’ve prayed for that man and his family every day since Friday. I think to myself what could have been so horrible that he would take his life. I realize that many of us have contemplated suicide on occasion. I certainly have. Then I thought about the people I’d be leaving behind and how much grief it would cause. Yes, we grieve when a loved one passes but we recognized death after a lengthy illness or a sudden accident. But how do you process suicide? You think how that person should have come to you. That person should have prayed or gotten counseling or maybe gotten drunk. There is just know way to understand why a person would take his life.

There are no answers. There are only questions that will never be answered. Still this experience has left me aware of how easy it is to take life for granted. It’s easy to look at someone and believe he or she has it all together. Take a moment to tell someone you love her today and then give yourself a great big hug. Reach out to someone you haven't spoken to in a while and catch up. You might be just what that person needs. And you may find that you may get something in return you didn’t know you needed. Someone will love you right back.