Step Away from the Self-Help Aisle and Help Yourself

Have you ever wandered through the self-help aisle in a bookstore? I do it every time I visit either a new or used bookstore. The number of books claiming to help us find joy, happiness, contentment, creativity, life force and the like is staggering. I never realized how many people out there who have given such great thought to helping the rest of us live a fulfilled life. It never occurred to me that so many of us were so screwed up that we needed more than 100 other people to help us do so.

The usual suspects are always there. Tony Robbins, Dr. Phil, Eckhart Tolle, Iyanla Vanzant, Rick Warren and Joel Osteen, to name a few, have at least two books in this category. I find it interesting that almost each of these people is a motivational speaker, a psychologist or a minister. They’ve all come through some sort of personal crisis and each has come out on the other side with great wisdom to share and great amounts of money earned. Each one is a living encyclopedia of the “get up and get moving” pronouncement. If not that, it’s the “get up, get praying and then get moving” declaration.

Don’t get me wrong. I know there are millions of people who are in need of guidance. Anti-depressants are being prescribed in record amounts to the young and the old. Suicides are on the rise. Cults are pointing at the changes in nature and proclaiming we are in the last days. Religious cable channels have tripled within the past 10 years. Plastic surgery and body modification is no longer the exception but the rule as we mold and shape ourselves in an attempt to stay young and lithe. Even the rich and famous seem to be out of control trying to find their way. What the hell is happening to us?

For as long as I can remember there have been self-help books. Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking and the Bible were the books I remembered from my youth. Almost every household had at least one of these books on the shelves and they all had a Bible. These were the tomes people turned to when they were depressed or looking for the way to a fulfilled life.

Fast forward to 1987 and Joseph Campbell’s The Power of Myth opened the flood gates. From there came Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and Susan Jeffers’ Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. The 1990’s introduced Robert Bly’s Iron John, Anthony Robbins’ The Giant Within, M. Scott Peck’s The Road Less Traveled, Richard Carlson’s Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and Deepak Chopra’s The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. According to the Columbus Dispatch in January of this year, an estimated 2000 self-help books are published annually resulting in a $10 billion a year business. Self-help books sell more generally in January when people are looking to start over in the New Year.

What does this say about us as people? Is it possible that we need guidance from 2000 books to turn our lives around? Have we become so lost that we actually believe our problems, our lives, our successes and our losses can all be corrected or directed by someone who has no knowledge of us personally? Have we strayed so far from our center?

I wish had the answer. I wish I could recommend one of those 2000 books that would answer all those questions. I wish I could tell you why you’re here, tell you what you were destined to be or what you are destined to do. But I can’t. I can’t because I don’t know you. And on any given day, I don’t even know me.

I’ll share with you what I do know. Sometimes asking the questions is enough. Sometimes taking a deep breath is enough. Sometimes crying until you fall asleep is enough. Sometimes giving yourself a hug is enough. Sometimes it’s the small things that answer the big questions.

Most importantly, I know what I don’t want. That gives me a place to start. Sometimes knowing what you don’t want can help lead you to what you do. That may not be the way you would answer the life questions but it’s a start. Sometimes a start is all you need.