Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

In one of the most famous scenes in film history, Terry Malloy (superbly played by Marlon Brando)tells his brother Charley Malloy (equally well played by Rod Steiger) that his destiny was altered because of a fixed fight in Elia Kazan’s film, On the Waterfront. “You don’t understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am. Let’s face it. It was you, Charley.” Every night, millions of people are telling themselves some form of this speech and saying it as heartfelt as Brando when he delivered this speech in 1954.

We spend millions of dollars on self-help books. We watch Oprah and her disciples on Super Soul Sunday. We spend even more millions on life coaches and seminars and workshops that are supposed to help us figure out why we’re here and what we’re supposed to do. We pray, we meditate, we practice yoga, and we do all sorts of things trying to find out what we could be, would be and should be.

Unfortunately there is no quick answer to those questions. Just as Rod Steiger looked at Brando with a mixture of sadness and sorrow, so do we when ask ourselves those questions or when we speak to ourselves in the middle of the night decrying what we could have done or would have done or should have done.

Living in the world of coulda, woulda, shoulda is thankless. It’s a waste of time when we have so little time on this earth to do what we could, would and should. I’m not saying that we should shy away from asking the big questions. I’m saying asking the questions and not doing anything to answer the questions is futile.

I don’t believe we should just rush out and do something just to be doing something. I think we should all give these questions some thought. Each of us is here for a reason and it is never a useless activity attempting to figure out your purpose. However, there are some things we all could do and should do regardless of what our individual calling might be.

We know as humans that we are our brothers’ keeper. We know we should help people in any way possible regardless of race, ethnicity, sexual identification and the like. We see the homeless in our cities and we should advocate for them to have shelter. We know our children are getting a piss poor education and we should be demanding that the educational system be better and we should follow through on those demands. We know our healthcare system is screwed and we should be doing everything possible to make sure that everyone has access to good health care. We know our elderly are mistreated and we should do whatever is necessary for our seniors to spend the rest of their lives well and safe. We know that equal rights under the law are not equal and we should make our government make it right. We are engaging in unconscionable actions around the world and we should make our representatives accountable. We know what we should do and we know what we could do.

We don’t have to keep repeating that memorable speech made by Brando some 60 years ago. We are not bums. We may not be able to answer the questions satisfactorily to everyone who asks. But we do know that what we are all called to do is to be somebody who cares for humankind and then is willing to do something to make life better for humankind. Then we can say with conviction “I am somebody.”

Will It Ever End?

It’s almost unbearable being the mother of a young Black man in America. I know because I’m the mother of a 19 year old who works two jobs and will be a junior in college this coming September. He’s been stopped several times by Chicago policemen for “SWB” which is skateboarding while Black. Once again for the third time in as many years, I mourn with another mother who has lost a son to violence perpetuated by those who are supposed to serve and protect.

The recent shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, MO and Ezell Ford in Los Angeles are declarations to the world that lynching is alive and well in the United States. This country which we are constantly telling the world is a bastion of equality and freedom is in fact still practicing the same human rights violations that have been perpetuated since the beginning of the recorded history of this country.

How is it that the U.S. can point to the bombings of innocents of the Gaza Strip, the consistent rape of women and girls in the Democratic Republic of Congo and the public execution of citizens in North Korea as examples of crimes again humanity and not see the consistent harassment, torture and killing of Black men as the same? What level of hypocrisy is that?

It should be no surprise to anyone with a brain to see why the citizens of Ferguson, specifically and Black Americans in general, are in an uproar. Black men have been the targets of violence since our ancestors first arrived in this country. We have survived the indignities of slavery, the reconstruction era and Jim Crow only to see our young men subjected to legalized lynching by the police.

Since the Rodney King incident and the subsequent trials that resulted in widespread looting in Los Angeles, race relations in America has been a tinderbox waiting for a light. The shooting of Michael Brown is apparently that match. To add insult to injury, the Ferguson police chief has decided to release a video that supposedly shows Brown robbing a store just prior to his being shoot. Also released by the police department are photos of Brown flashing gang signs. I would imagine this is the chief’s way of saying Brown deserved to die because he is a robber and a gang member.

Deputy Social Media Editor, Aswin Suebsaeng of The Daily Beast wrote “"It should go without saying but vaguely intimidating photos of you do not give the police carte blanche to gun you down, and we no longer live in a country where it is OK to sentence black men to death for the crime of petty theft." These are words of truth and wisdom that should not be ignored.

Every day I live in fear that I will get that knock at the door. Every night the knock does not come, I thank God my son is alive to live another day. No mother should have to live with that especially in a country that exposes all people are created equal. I keep wondering when that day will come for me and Black people in this country.

Black people built this country. Many of the national banks and insurance companies in America were financed by slavery. We have contributed in each area of society including science, medicine, art, business and music through inventions and innovations that have moved this country forward. Our men have fought and served with distinction in every war. Our ancestors never received the 40 acres and a mule promised after the end of the Civil War. We ask for nothing more than equal treatment under the law for which we fought and died. Why is it still not enough? Will it ever be enough?

I mourn with the mothers of Michael Brown and Ezell Ford even as I decry the violence in Ferguson and the potential violence that may occur in LA. I do not condone any violent response to injustice. But I damn sure understand it.