Let’s Talk…To Each Other

This post is going to put me on somebody’s shit list. Actually, it’s going to put me on a lot of somebody’s shit list but that’s okay. I can take it.

Recently I attended a day-long conference regarding international social justice. Attendees were seated at tables designated by a particular justice issue. There were seven people at my table united by our common interest in fair labor practices. Three of us were eating our lunch as the other four texted on their phones and poked their tablets.

I took a sip of water and then declared to the table, “How about we do what people used to do and talk to each other.” After a couple of uncomfortable seconds, the ladies put their phones and tablets away and everyone agreed this would be a good idea.

Normally I would not do such a thing. But I’ve really become fed up with this habit people have since the advent of cell phones and tablets. We have become so discourteous that ignoring others has become standard.

How often have you seen two people sitting across from each other in a restaurant and both are talking on the phone? Several years ago, this was something of a shock. Nowadays it seems to be accepted. Is there something wrong with me or has this become the “new normal?” Where was I when it was decided people should go out together but spend time apart talking on cell phones? This has become so regular that people take me to task when I mention it. I guess when people are out together, they mean they are occupying the same space but not interacting with each other. Silly me!

Another example of this egregious behavior occurs on public transportation. Riding public transportation has always been a bit harried. People are mean, pushy and downright discourteous.

The worst of these, however, is the person who insists on sharing his entire conversation with everyone on the bus or the train. Although you could care less about the petulant kids or stingy boyfriend or irritating co-worker, you are encroached upon with the entire conversation. If you look at the person, you’re given a withering stare and sometimes asked why you’re listening in on their conversation. If you answer that the person is talking so loud that you can’t help but hear, all hell breaks loose and you become part of the messiness you had hoped to avoid. There is no way to win.

When did technology absolve us from practicing common courtesy?

I’m not advocating that we ban the use of technology. I recognize the great advances new technologies have made in our society. People are living longer and better. We make friends all over the world without leaving the comfort of home. We can access all forms of information in a short period of time. Technology has become useful in ways we could only dream about 20 short years ago.

On the other hand, technology, however, should not absolve us of our basic humanity. Technology is a tool and should be used as judiciously as any other tool. It should not be the end of a civil society.

So I’m asking if it’s possible for us to use technology the way it was meant to be used and for us to socialize the way we were meant. Is it possible for us to have a conversation with the person seated across from us instead of the person who is miles away and on the other end of the phone? Can we get together for coffee or lunch and not text while giving our companions our full attention? Can we ride the bus without making everyone privy to our lives? Can we watch a movie without the proliferation of cell phones going off disturbing the movie experience? Can we sit in a meeting without being interrupted incessantly by phones chirping and chiming?

Is anyone bothered by this continued encroachment upon courtesy and civility? Or is it just me?